4/5/12

the worst-kept secret


 cardi: Target // top: H&M // belt: vintage // jeans: Gap // tote: rouge & whimsy

I have a secret that everyone knows. My secret? I have a blog.

You know because you're here but if I met you on the street -- outside of the internet -- or if we worked together, went to school together or were even blood-related, I probably wouldn't tell you about this little space.

Why?

Because I am afraid of what you may think.

I think you might judge me for posting what I wore.

I think you might judge me for taking photos of the dinners I make.

I think you might judge me for selling tote bags on etsy.

I think that you are going to just judge this whole blog and it's such a big part of me now... so I don't think I can handle your judgement. So I won't tell you because I don't want to risk it. I don't want to be hurt.

My mom posted this blog on her Facebook account the other day and to be honest, I texted her in a panic, asking her, begging her to take it down. She didn't because she knows that sometimes us creative types have a hard time putting ourselves out there, but she also knows that I shouldn't live in fear of what others may think.

And I know that if people really wanted to know, they could find me and this blog. I'm on Twitter, I'm not in hiding.

But I'd prefer that they find me that way instead of hearing it straight from my mouth: "I have a blog."

I know that I need to have more self-confidence about this. Do any of you have suggestions for me?

Do you hide the fact that you have a blog or an etsy shop?

I'd love to hear about it.

xo, erika





27 comments

  1. i can relate- i get so embarrassed when my husband brings up my blog when we're in a social situation. all, i can say is hang in there and be confident. people will love you for being you!

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  2. Hi Erika,

    I also can relate to this.

    I have told a few of my close family members but they've always been so supportive that this didn't worry me but when it comes to friends/aquaintances ...well it's a different story. I've sort of dropped it into conversation a little bit with close friends but in quite a shy way and i've always followed it up with "you don't have to look at it!". I'm like you, I do worry how people might judge but hey, my blog is my place, it's completely ME. I then remind myself that the amount I enjoy the whole blog process, the amount of people i've connected with that I would never of met.....completely out ways the worry's of the people who judge.

    Anyway, your blog is great girl!
    Be proud :o) x

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  3. Erika I feel the same way! I recently told my group of girl friends that I had a blog because I knew that if they found out and I didn't tell them they would not be too happy. But I was so nervous too and even now so sometimes afraid to write/post certain things. especially because most of them don't read blogs and probably think it's incredibly weird to take pictures of my outfits. I just keep reminding myself that it makes me happy and what I write is me and if they're my friends they will support it. BUT I would not like anyone at my work to know! maybe some day . . .

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  4. I'm the same way! The hardest part is sharing it with my boyfriend. He knows it exists (and that I'm on it all the time) but that's pretty much all I'll tell him! He's found out a lot on his own and usually checks it like every day. It's so nerve racking!

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  5. oh I totally get it...my family doesn't know I have one, nor do most of my friends...unless they're not telling me :) hubby knows but hasn't asked to see it yet...yikes it is scary!

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  6. It took me about six months of blogging before I finally told my friends about it. And while I have created a FB page for my blog, I don't post much about my blog on my actual FB page. I do tweet about it though. I've gotten positive feedback from my IRL friends so it's helped a bit in boosting my confidence! For what it's worth I think your blog - and your Etsy shop - are awesome!

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  7. I feel the same way. I feel like the word BLOG has such a negative (or maybe lame) connotation. I hide the fact that I have one from those that are close to me. My husband knows but we don't talk about it! I don't tell anyone about opening an Etsy shop either. I don't want to be that exposed to the people that I know. Seems insane that I am willing to expose myself to complete strangers yet I am not able to do that to those around me. Eek!

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  8. First off: I LOVE your outfit!! So cute + comfy =. I like your little white rosette necklace!!

    And I know how you feel. It feels really odd saying anything about my blog//twitter//my etsy shops. I am not the best self-promoter. :P
    But you are so talented and I just LOVE all the fantastic things you create!!

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  9. I know exactly what you mean.

    I don't hide my blog, but I get so embarrassed when my husband bigs it up and almost downplay it because I don't want people judging it--the joys of blogging ;)

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  10. I can relate...I just feel like when I say I have a blog, there are so many instant judgments about my superficiality, materialism, budgeting...you name it! And honestly, I don't have the time or resources or knowledge to make my blog look really spiffy and have gorgeous photos and keep up with every trend...so sometimes I feel embarrassed even of my blog's content/appearance. But you know, in the end I'm not doing this for anyone, I'm doing it for myself...giving myself the challenge to dress well every day and the creative outlet of chronicling beautiful things in life. SO I'm ok no matter what anyone thinks!

    <3 Cambria
    jupefashion.blogspot.com

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  11. I totally relate to this. I was talking to one of my coworkers and she said- o yeah I know I read your blog. I'm pretty sure I went mute. I was so worried about what she thought but then I remembered why I started it- to keep in touch with my family. I'm truly me on my blog and I'm working on being proud of that

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  12. ohhhh no, real life people are not allowed to read my blog. it's normal!

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  13. i dont necessarily "hide" it, but i'm not forthright with it.. because i feel the same way.. people who DON'T blog just wont get it, and they WILL judge me for things like taking outfit pictures, food pictures, a zillion pictures..

    but i also know it makes me happy, so feeling ashamed or afraid is so weird, ya know?! but i dont want eye rolls because i take certain pictures.. and it takes too long for me to explain to others how much i have developed my personal style based SOLELY off taking outfit pictures..

    oh well, the good news is, there's plenty of blogger friends out there, who feel the same way..

    (:

    great post though!

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  14. I Hid this for SO LONG...just recently since my divorce, have I been more open about it... :) The whole idea will grow on you and you will feel more confident about putting it all out there :) xoxo

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  15. I'm really weird about my blog... I am SO proud of it but whenever someone in my "real" life finds out about it I get all bashful and nervous. I guess I don't want someone reading it and thinking, "Wow, Krysten is lame, she thinks she's so much cooler than she is."

    My boyfriend's best friend just fund out about my blog and was asking about it. Made me SO nervous but she was gushing about how much she liked it... so I guess that's good, right?

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  16. Ok...loving your blog! I'm so glad I found it. You seem so adorable.

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  17. Hello girl! I'm a new reader here, but like your blog sooo much :) I think I feel the same way... Like You, I am afraid too - sometimes - about readers from my private area: friends, coo-wokers, parents, etc. I'm writing a blog since 2008, but most of my friends don't know about this. And I don't want to tell... I'm too shy :))

    So, I can't give you any suggestions.. so sorry. But your blog and etsy shop, and all about this little space is so cute and lovely! Don't be afriad, we love it!!! :)

    PS: Sorry about my terrible english. I'm not so good in that :)

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  18. I like to start by saying I don't have a blog, but I've been trying to start one (trying to launch while writing my thesis). I can see where your coming from, my fiance writes a blog and it took him months to show it to me.

    ... but more importantly I'd like to say....

    You are an amazing person and you need to think of your blog as a present to the world. You pour your time, effort and more importantly, yourself into this blog. Maybe the people who receive your gift might not understand at first but they'll appreciate it. They'll understand that this gift to them is one of careful thought and is you giving them your everything. This blog is you and your sharing it with people is a gift, it requires self confidence but it represents who you are! NEVER be afraid of who you are, NEVER worry what others may say. Whether they like it or not they understand this is who you are, they will get that showing them is a HUGE gift. Understand you are an inspiration, you are an amazing human being and you are a gift to the world. Your blog is just the icing on the cake for everyone to enjoy!!

    Just remember how much people you don't know love it, those you know will appreciate and love it that much more!

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  19. Erika, as one of your now 526 followers, (I remember when there were under 50) I look forward to the fun, clever and courageous energy and ideas you express through your blog. Being judgmental is a type of thinking or reasoning having to do with quality of value someone identifies about something; that quality of value is more a reflection about the person doing the judging. We all do it, whether its picking which cantaloupe to purchase or choosing from a selection of sweet colorblock bags. We all need to feel successful, to be confident and love ourselves ... but guess what - the people that would judge you, or me (and there have been plenty of those I'm sure) in a way as unworthy or "less than" are truly people who judge themselves or hide from self-judgement. I TRY to feel compassionate towards people who struggle with being judgemental towards others (and themselves) because they suffer lack of unconditional love and acceptance of each human's uniqueness. Those of us who enjoy, value, resonate, whatever, with your writing obviously share some loving connection with what you are expressing. Those you fear may judge you negatively, well I guess they would be people who don't feel the loving connection. Pray for them to become more loving, but don't attribute power to them. I get so much pleasure reading your blog and seeing pics of what you wore, cooked, baked, etc etc etc so thanks for brightening my days!

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  20. You have a pretty amazing thing going on here Erika, don't be afraid of it!

    I do understand how you feel though, it's hard explaining blogging to people who don't do it. I don't know if that will ever change. Just know that at least you have all of us! And we're all right there with ya.

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  21. I can totally relate to this! It took me forever to get over letting people know that I have a blog. I love fashion and clothes and just yesterday posted my first style post. It took me such a long time to gain the confidence because I hate being in front of the camera and I was worried that people would judge me. I'm also a teacher so I'm also ridiculously nervous that one of my students will somehow find me via twitter and see that I have a blog mostly because I know that they'll totally judge me. But at the same time, blogging is super fun and I'd rather have a little embarrassment in my life than give it up.

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  22. such a cute outfit! and i love the pictures, you're beautiful

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  23. I feel the exact same way! Only a select few people know that I have a blog. Unfortunately, that includes my in laws, so it hard to write everything I want to. Sometimes it keeps me from writing everything, but other times I just have to forget the fact that they know and just write whats on my heart.
    I love that you brought this up though because it seems a lot of us have the same feelings about telling friends and family about our blogs. I think that is what made Creative Estates so great! Knowing we all have that similarity :)

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  24. I don't necessarily hide my blog...but I don't really tell people about it, either. =/ And now my family reads it, so now I'm always 2nd guessing myself...what if they think my posts are dumb? Eek!

    I think your blog is great!

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  25. I've been blogging since 2007, I thought my family in other states would like to see what I was up to, etc. No, I got more criticism than anything so I really don't talk all that much about it to everyone. It you find me, fine but I'm not advertising! LOL

    By-the-way, I love your blog!!

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  26. Hi Erika! I just found your blog from your thrifting 101 post over at Just Lovely Things. I have to say, I love your blog and your style!

    I completely relate to this post! The only one who really knows the extent of my blogging is my bf, and that's only because we live together. Plus, he knows everything about me, so blogging isn't something I'd keep from him. But I DO NOT tell others about my blog. At one point I had it linked to my personal FB page and quickly decided to take it down. My mom knows about my blog but I don't think she ever reads it.

    I am like you and am definitely afraid of the judgement. People who aren't immersed in the blog world just don't get it. I actually had a slight freak out a couple weeks ago when my coworkers all discovered Pinterest. Of course, I've known about it and have my own page, but did I chime in and join the convo? Nope! Instead I went home and changed my profile picture so they wouldn't recognize me right away. Horrible right? Anyway, I think I'd prefer people to find my blog randomly rather than come right out and say it. But maybe that's just the shy, slightly socially awkward part of me.

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  27. I just started blogging a few months ago, but I don't tell friends or family about it. My husband knows, and one weekend while we were hanging out with his sister, he brought it up and made me show her. I was mortified! She wanted me to email her the link, but I conveniently "forgot". I almost feel like this is my thing, my hobby that I like to enjoy on my own. Is that strange? haha. I'm new to your blog, but already love it! You're great!

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oh that's so nice of you to say hi :)
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