links + lately

that one time I found my 16th-century doppelgänger at a thrift store

I took a break this week. It was decided last week. I finished up my Etsy shop orders and stuck it in vacation mode and I'm trying to get life in order -- maybe not fully in order --  but you, know, like, decently in order. 

To be honest I feel a little lost. I think it's that summertime sadness that Lana Del Ray croons about-- it's the end of summer, and fall is officially almost here, and I'm just not ready. Does anyone else feel that?

So I'm cheering myself up with a few of these awesome links.

- this business series from Ashley at The Shine Project, especially this post

- speaking of biz, a totally affordable small-biz class from Krystina (registration starts next Monday!) honestly, I've taken a few small biz/etsy-type courses in my day, and I always find them to be quite the kick-in-the-pants I need. 

- this kitchen remodel Danielle shared makes me feel all the subway-tile feels. 

- I have a lot of plums from my farm box ... and I think they should be made into this pie shared on Girl Versus Dough.

- This post about authenticity and fashion (and invitation to share your own story)

- I don't have kids, but I love what Carina shares about what to say to families that may be different from your own.

And let's end on a high note: This BBC story about a couple who have been married 80 years. Listen to their interview -- it's adorable how they keep teasing each other and giggling. 

happy friday.

where is your place

Where is your place?

Where is the place where you feel like you don’t have to do anything – where time seems to stand still, where calories don’t count and napping midday is accepted and even encouraged.

Where is the place where you play cards for hours and it doesn’t matter who wins (although competitive streaks will appear), where everything is funny and inside jokes are formed and held.

Where is the place where it’s always sunny and even if it rains, it feels bright, where feet are dirty, manicures are chipped and you don’t mind the bug bites that dot your ankles.

Where is the place where you’re outside and you’ll do it all, try it all – where it feels good to be exhausted from doing everything yet nothing.

I think my place has changed over the years. Most recently it’s at a small house my parents bought and are fixing up on Whidbey Island. It's just about an hour north from Seattle – the trip includes a ferry ride – but feels worlds away.

on being yourself + a free ebook

I probably win the most awkward kid award. You know you can picture it: Red hair, gangly with knobby knees and pointy elbows, with a tendency to stay up too late reading. You can imagine that when I hit junior high, I desperately no longer wanted to be like myself. And it's taken years for me to finally get back to a place where I am learning to accept and love who I am.

That does not mean that I don't need a little kick in the pants every so often -- to remind myself that hiding who I am helps no one. Maybe you need a little pep talk, too? First off-- be yourself, you were fearfully and wonderfully made and you are who you need to be. Second of all, there's a whole lot more of that in my friend Liz's e-book. She is a delightful writer and beautiful human being and she's offering her e-book "Get Naked: Why The World Needs You to be a Little More You" for free.

Confession: I read it. And I like it and I think you guys would like it, too. You can snag it on her website and also, in honor of her book being released (yay!) she has an awesome giveaway up on her site, with goodies like an Amazon giftcard, in case after you learn to be more like you, you want to celebrate. :)

So go on over, download the e-book, and say hi to Liz on Instagram. :)

Happy Thursday, friends!

real life is not hgtv

Recently I've been watching a lot of HGTV. My mom is an interior designer and she's always telling me about shows I should watch so I finally gave in.

The other reason I'm watching HGTV? The thought that it would give me some solace as the basement remodel stretches into its sixth month.

Yes. Six months. For a basement.

Part of it is that our house is old and all of the electrical and the plumbing needed to be replaced. Then there was a sewer issue. And a dryer vent issue. And another plumbing issue. And some financial stuff issues.

HGTV doesn't show these issues. In a half hour a room is transformed -- in an hour, a whole house. Little snippets. And I get why they don't show the discussions about where we should budget and the minatue of a sewer line replacement -- it's no fun to watch. Before and afters with light-hearted banter, now that's fun.

Yes, the obvious: real life is not HGTV. But now into month six, I realize that while yes -- it would be nice to have our space done -- some things just aren't instant, and that's just part of the richness of life. We just see small moments of life on TV, or even social media, but the back story is always more complicated... like a 6-month-plus renovation.

But I will have to say, we did some major work on our basement this weekend and even moved some furniture in. The 6 months will be capping soon.

the importance of a staycation

Sometimes a vacation is not in the budget. Sometimes you can't take an entire week off... so sometimes the best vacation ends up just being a staycation.

A few weeks back the husband and I made a point to have a staycation day. Rather than default to our normal days -- me trying to get *all* the things done -- we put our phones away and took some quality time -- just us.

That day, laundry was forgotten. Dishes were left in the sink and we did nothing. We slept in, went for a leisurely run, watched TV (in the middle of the day!) and walked to the beach where I read and watched the sailboats while he dozed on the sunbaked sand.

To be honest, I have a hard time with nothing. I like to hustle. I feel guilty when I'm not checking off a to-do list but let me tell you, ignoring the phone, ignoring the have-tos and should-dos, was glorious. I think exactly what we are called to do sometimes.

All of us have things in our life we need to do-- we have responsibilities and checklists, but sometimes it's so important to throw those to the wayside, leave the phone on the nightstand and check out from the real world for awhile.

things the husband says

my husband always, sometimes on purpose, makes me laugh

Me: You bought a lot a fish for just tacos!
Husband: I told the fish guy we had four people coming to dinner.
Me: It's just us tonight...
Husband: Yep.

(Husband goes to Pinterest.com.)
Me: You have Pinterest?
Husband: I don't know. (Tries to log in.) Nope.
Me: What were you going to pin?
Husband: I dunno. Can I pin sports stuff?

(Me pouring one salsa container into another, almost spilling it all.)
Husband: You've made a lot of decisions in your life. I don't know that this one was the best one. Here's a napkin for when you spill.

(Husband holds up three sports shirts.)
Husband: Which one is your favorite?
Me: They're all sports shirts.
Husband: They're all different.
Me: What about wearing a solid color t-shirt?
Husband: Then it would be just like wearing fabric. Like, look at my fabric with sleeves.

Husband: Something smells like skunk.
Me: I don't smell it.
(Husband pulls me in for a hug.)
Me: Wait. Are you hugging me just so you can smell me?
Husband: When is the last time you washed your hair?
Me: Yesterday!
Husband: OK, I don't think the skunk smell is you.

Husband: Do you know what I was doing for so long?
Me: Noooo...
Husband: I was researching.
Me: Researching what?
Husband: When was the first Mariners' game I went to. It was May 9, 1992. They played the Tigers. It was Bat Night. But they lost, 13 to nothing... which is pretty normal.

read a previous version here

dear bride

Dear bride,

You look gorgeous, you know that? You really do. It's the one time in your life you're wearing false eyelashes and they work. They'll make your eyes pop in your photos.

And your wedding is perfect. Everything looks great. Please don't worry about what others think about your wedding or whether you should have added more personal touches. No one is here to see the decorations. They're here to see you.

You've been waiting for this day for ever. Or so it feels like forever. And the day has finally come -- it's the peak of dating, the big finale, the best day ever!

Actually, stop there. Today, is not the finale. Today is not the peak. It's the beginning. It's one blip on the radar of your life. Sure, it's a special day, a day where you feel good about wearing this much makeup and a really expensive dress, but it is just one piece of your life, and maybe not even the most important piece.

Tomorrow is more important and every day after that. The day you have the worst day at work, and your car breaks down and you get in a fight but you choose to lean in and still love him, and still trust in your relationship -- that is a more important day. Today, on your wedding day, love is easy. Three years from now when you're figuring out a budget together, love is not as glamorous.

This isn't to say that marriage won't be fun or wonderful or that there won't be moments of love. There will be those moments. I know you think you know that guy you're marrying, but you don't. You've just scratched the surface of who he is; you only know a little bit of his hopes and dreams and the very fabric of what makes him the man you love. Each day you have the opportunity to know him more, to support him more, to learn how to love him more.

I know you think you know everything right now. But you're really young. My goodness you're young. I'm not sure how your parents said yes to you getting married... especially because five years from now you're going to be suspicious of anyone knowing what they're doing getting married right out of college. In the next few years you're going to learn a lot about life, and a lot more about love. Good thing you're marrying someone who will help you learn those things

This is a lot to take in right now. It's overwhelming but I just wanted to encourage you today, on your wedding. Five years from now, you're going to look back at your wedding and think back to that day-- a beautiful, momental day, but just one day that begins a much bigger and better journey. Get excited.

Sincerely,
Erika

Happy five years Evan. Life is pretty great with you. 

let your yes be yes

There are things that you learn about yourself. One thing I have learned about myself, and perhaps it has finally suck in (can you hear my husband saying finally!?), is that I am (too) quick to say yes. 

I say yes without thinking, without hesitation, without consideration. While this makes me agreeable, it can also make me flaky because there are times when I have to replace my yes with a no. 

Last week I said yes to teaching kids' camp at my church. And as the week rolled into view, I wondered why I said yes -- it was a good thing to say yes to because I love my church and the work they do -- but I was also prepping for another yes I had already said -- a yes to Renegade Craft Fair the following week. 

So my yes was hard. I worked all day, then went to kids' camp held in the evenings, and then came home to sew. And a lot of me regretted my yes. 

There's this guilt we have in saying no. And by saying we, I mean me. I feel guilt. So I say yes to dinner, when really I'm tired, or I say yes to an event, when part of me knows I don't have the time to commit fully. Honestly, sometimes it's good to to force yourself to say yes -- we don't live life binge-watching Netflix -- but then there are crucial times when the yes should really be a no. 

Here is the thing: when you have your yes be yes-- when you can fully commit with all of you, it is far better than a lackluster yes, a yes where you regret being there, a yes you have to pull back later. Nine times out of ten, I want my yes to be a full commitment. 

In the end, I am grateful for my time at kids' camp. I did enjoy each moment, and let's be honest, kindergarten girls are pretty cute. However, it was also slap-in-the-face wake-up call. I need to consider what I say yes to. There are good and beautiful and wonderful opportunities and it is so good to take part in them, but before I step in, I need to consider my answer -- and whether I can make it a full yes. 

Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Matthew 5:37

What do you need to say yes to? What's better to say no to? 

messy hair

When I was in junior high -- and I admit -- well into high school and part of college, I did my hair to an almost obsessive level. Pony tails couldn't have "bumps" -- remember those days? -- and my hair had to be perfectly straight.

The thing is, my hair does not lie perfectly straight. It's got this slight bend to it, that makes one side turn in and one side turn out. This drove me nuts as a 17-year-old. Each morning I entered the bathroom armed for battle, mousse in my left hand and curling iron in my right.

Two things changed.

One, I got lazier. Or rather, I started accepting that my hair would not be perfectly straight. I can straight-iron the heck out of it, but once I step outside, some bends are going to appear. I started asking for haircuts that would fit with my hair's natural shape, rather than bringing along a magazine clipping of a hair style that would never work for me.

Also, I got a little lucky, because messy hair -- at least where I live -- is in style. Perfectly coiffed, pin-straight is still beautiful, but hair with bends and kinks, is just as acceptable.

As I get older, (I know, in the grand scheme of things I am not that old), I am coming more and more to terms with things about myself. Sure, accepting the texture of hair is a small thing, I think it's just one part of a journey to be happy with who God made me to be.

my recipe for messy hair

Towel dry and comb hair.
Blow dry hair, scrunching as you dry.
Dry hair to about 80 percent dry, then spritz in sea-salt spray
Scrunch a little more -- finish with hair spray, if desired.

a little shift in direction

I keep trying to make time to blog but lately the day job, and then etsy shop have taken up most of my time. Also, sleep. By the time I have a moment to blog, my bed calls me and suddenly the ideas I have for a post seem lame in comparison to catching up on my beauty sleep. (And this girl needs beauty sleep.)

I have been thinking a lot about blogging. It was my first love -- way before my etsy shop-- and I love it but more and more I'm finding that I don't have a ton of time for it. And when I do blog, the audience I once had seems to have disappeared. (I think they're hanging out on Instagram.)

That's fine, I get it. Today people like photos, not words and I can be wordy. And honestly it's made me really think about why I write on the blog. Is it for comments? Is it for recognition? If I honestly think about it, I know the answer is yes to both of those.

I think on some level it's fine to want recognition for the work that you do-- to feel like what you put out there is appreciated. But I do not want to be driven by what others think of me, or how they respond to me.

All this to be said is that there will be a little shift on rouge + whimsy. I am going to be sharing less recipe posts, less diy posts (not that I've done one in forever) and a few less outfit posts. Instead, I'm going to be sharing more about what I'm thinking about, dreaming about... It'll be less Pinterest and more library book.

I hope you stick around, but if not, that's cool, too. It'll give me the chance to practice what I preach. 

5 ways to stay creative

My day job is fairly creative.

The evening job -- writing the blog and running my handmade shop -- is very creative.

But there are days when I feel like I'm in a rut; I feel stuck. And if you are in a creative role at all, or even consider yourself a creative person, you have likely felt this way more than once. Maybe, if you're like me, the creative drought hits at least once a month.

I haven't found the magic solution -- I'll patent it once I do -- however there are a few things that I try to do to keep myself going when my creative spark feels dim.

1. walk away. // You can force and force and force yourself to come up with an idea, but usually the pressure we put on ourselves kills any creative juices we have. If you're stuck on something, walk away from it and do something you enjoy. It can even be something as light as watching TV-- just do something to get your mind on something else.

2. exercise. // I am a huge proponent of exercise because of its effects on mental health. Going for a walk, or a run, or even dancing around your kitchen can make a huge impact on your mood and your creativity. Science says it's true.

3. talk it out. // Find your people-- your friends, your coworkers, even a pet -- who is your listening board. Tell them the problem, tell them all the things that you've considered. Sometimes just even speaking words aloud can help you get to a solution. If you have some people you trust, ask them to help you brainstorm.

4. work on something else creative. // I imagine the creative brain as a muscle and maybe some parts of the muscle are weak in areas-- kind of like when you work out, you should work arms and legs. So if you're stuck on writing, try drawing for a while. If you're stuck on sewing, try cooking. Feeling creative success somewhere else can help you feel like you can be successful in the area you want to be.

and if all else fails...

5. start anyway. // Sometimes I get so crippled by the idea of a starting point. I ask myself, where do I even begin? But if I just start the process anyway, sometimes things will come to me. For example, with writing, it helps to just get words down -- even if they make no sense. Artist? Start painting. Start sewing. Just get yourself to start somewhere without any pressure attached,  even if it's not exactly the direction you want to be in.

what do you do to stay creative?

xo, erika

friday favorites

some of my favorites from lately-- going clockwise:

>> custom family portraits from yellow heart art. Even if I wasn't friends with Leonora, I would still be over the moon about her custom family prints. No joke, I've ordered three. One for me, and two as gifts. They're adorable and I can't wait to hang mine. 

>> patterns from Sew Caroline. I love when I get to see a small biz lady do really incredible work. Caroline does amazing work and it's been so wonderful to see her grow her pattern making business! I just bought the Out and About dress and I cannot wait to sew it up and rock it all summer long. 

>> Indie Gift Box. There are a lot of subscription boxes out there, but I have a special place in my heart for those that support handmade businesses. Indie Gift Box sends out a box of adorable, handmade goodies each month. I got the box from the month of May and got adorable cards, a cute little Spring print, necklace, ring and decorative candy. All gorgeous and beautifully packaged. And they're generously offering a discount to you guys-- use rougeandwhimsy15 for 15 percent off your first purchase of Indie Gift Box!

>> asparagus salads. I know, this doesn't fit with the small business feed, but did you know you can eat asparagus raw? I got a ton of it in my CSA box and after searching the internet, found some awesome salad recipes -- like this one -- that uses diced asparagus. Highly recommend.

This week has been a rough one-- I got hit with a nasty summer cold but I finally feel like I'm on the mend. What is it about summer colds that are way worse than getting sick in the winter? It's June! I shouldn't be allowed to get sick when it's sunny.

Happy weekend!

xo, erika

my favorite small business tools

When I started my tote and purse Etsy shop it was a little bit on a whim. There was no organization to it -- no rhyme or reason or systems. However, as it has grown, I've had do a bit more of the behind-the-scenes work. None of these things are particularly fun, but they're necessary if I'm going to build my business, and build it right.

As I've gotten more serious about my shop, I've figured out some online tools that have really helped me. I'm still learning what works and doesn't work but I'd love to share a few of my favorites -- and of course, hear if you have some methods that work well for you as well!

Bing: I have to say, when it comes to search, Bing makes it easier. For instance, when you search a recipe, it will display ingredients and directions below each search result -- you don't even have to click in! I do a ton of research and when the results display right away, it makes it easier for me, rather than having to click into each one to see if it's the link I want. And even better, while I'm scouring the web, I can be earning points toward gift cards or even charities with their >Bing rewards program. With all the time I spend trying to find my next fabric line or trying to look up how long I should cook quinoa again, earning rewards while I work is pretty phenomenal. (...currently I'm working toward an Amazon gift card.)

The other thing I love about Bing is their commitment to bloggers and small business. I've been to several events sponsored by Bing, including several free online classes by Altitude Summit. Bing, obviously, is a Microsoft product, which means they are local to Seattle, and they do a great job of supporting many events -- including small business-focused ones -- here in the Northwest.

Evernote: This is a recent addiction. Evernote is an app and web product that allows you to take any and all kinds of notes. Take photos of documents and turn them into PDFs, record a voice memo and organize it all with tag, and sync it across your desktop and phone. I use Evernote constantly to save blog post ideas, take photos of supplies I buy at wholesalers, or to even just snap a photo of the label of a wine I really liked. It's incredible and it keeps my scattered brain a lot more organized.

GoDaddy Bookkeeping: When I started using this product, it was a different company but GoDaddy recently acquired them. It's $10 a month, but I promise it's worth every penny. I use it to categorize expenses and to organize taxes. Small business taxes are no joke, and this product is the only thing that keeps me sane when I'm trying to compile all my information.

Amazon Prime + AmazonSmile: I buy a lot of shipping supplies and other random things on Amazon and paying for shipping can really add up. Amazon Prime is $79 a year, but you get free two-day shipping, which is really incredible. You also get movies and TV streaming, but the two-shipping is what does it for me. Also, if you sign into AmazonSmile, each item you buy will earn money toward the charity of your choice! SoleHope is the current charity I'm supporting.

Small business credit card: When I got serious about my business, I started a full separate bank account and then credit card. I currently have the Capital One Spark Small Business card and earn 2 percent back for every dollar I spend. If I'm going to be spending money, I might as well get some cash back. Having a separate bank account and credit card for my business also makes it easier for me to track things.

Do you have any favorite sites that you use for financial tracking? Or just keeping organized? Small business or not, I'm all ears! :)

This post was sponsored by Bing. Thanks for supporting the companies that keep rouge + whimsy up and running.


I'm required to disclose a sponsored partnership between our site and Bing. I have been compensated in exchange for this post in the form of payment, product or experiences.
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finding the nugget

I actually giggle when I say the word nugget. I'm not sure why. It's a weird word.

But that silly little word has meant a lot to me over the past two months.

When I went to Uganda to work with Sole Hope -- blog with them and document their incredible work -- there was a sense of trepidation. How was I going to explain what I saw, what I understood in one blog post? How could I make anyone care?

One of the women on the trip -- Logan, I think-- said "Find the nugget. That's all you need to do. Find the nugget of truth in the day and write about that."

That stuck with me. Find the nugget.

In Uganda, there was so much truth, so much experience and picking the best little nugget of truth was hard to narrow down. Back home in America, I have the opposite problem: I feel like sometimes there is no nugget of truth at all.

I love the corporate day job and the evening job (etsy shop + blog) but many days I don't feel like I am making a difference. There is no nugget of truth to impart. I go to work, I come home. My life feels ordinary. In Uganda, it was so easy to see the difference I made, the way I could encourage the Collies, the way I could share their story, Sole Hope's story -- even by making a clinic go smoother-- I felt like my presence made a huge difference.

Then I come home. And I struggled and still struggle. Somedays, I feel as if all my hands do is vanity. There's a book in the Bible where the writer talks about the pain of every day, the feeling of thinking that no matter what we do, things will be the same.

It's a disheartening feeling to be sure. But the word nugget rings in my head and I've come to believe it's just as true in the U.S., where I am easily distracted by things and busyness and deadlines, as it is in the sweet community of Uganda.

Every day there is truth, there is goodness, there is a place to make an impact. But I need to seek it out -- I need to find that nugget and pursue it.

I truly believe we are where we are for a reason -- whether it be atop a comfortable mountain or in a valley of challenges. I don't know why I was born in my hometown and given every opportunity and why some people are not. But I have to believe that there is something to take from it, there is something I can do with it. I just need to find the nugget.

xo, erika

p.s. you can read more about my trip here.

creative talk: designing the product

photo by carina skrobecki photography

In previous posts about small businesses, I talked about figuring out your direction and your audience, and in this one, I want to focus on product.

I'm not necessarily talking just about physical product-- a blog can be a product, a photography business can be a product-- in this I'm talking about the exact thing you will offer.

A little harsh reality: no matter how much great marketing or buzz or audience you have, if your product isn't what people are looking for, or has problems with it, they aren't going to buy it or subscribe to it, or work with it. It's a simple as that.

When I first started making bags, I realized that the quality of the product was a big deal. I started using smaller rivets for my leather straps but quickly realized that the larger rivets, (while not as a pretty), were necessary for the bag. I've also changed my leather because I found another kind that worked better for me and the customer. I've also had some interactions with vendors I sell to that were hard to hear, but in the end, have helped me develop a better product.

Making these little changes is key. They aren't huge overhauls, just small tweaks. You could approach a blog or any business the same way. Get feedback regarding your business. What works? What doesn't? Find your brutally honest but loving friend (doesn't everyone have someone like this?) who will give you a critique you can work with. And to make it clear-- I'm not talking the random commenter or customer that you can't ever please-- I'm talking about someone who cares about you and your business and wants you to succeed.

Find the changes that need to be done, and then follow through with them. It may be hard, or frustrating, but creating something that people are drawn to and love will be the core of your business.

Do you have people who can offer you critiques about your ideas? If you aren't sure you have the right person, try connecting with other small business owners on social media. Build a rapport and see if they can be the one to offer advice.

xo, erika

read previous creative talk posts: honing your idea | figuring out your audience

friday favorites

The husband and I are headed to New Orleans next week and although I've been to Atlanta (for like a day), this is my first time to the South. We're excited to explore and to eat-- and I need your suggestions! Where should we go? What can we not miss? We'll be gone for five days.

Some of my favorite stuff from the internet from this week:

>> jonesin' for likes-- an incredible post about creating boundaries about the web.

>> I have a ridiculously huge rhubarb plant and rhubarb-lemon bundt cake and rhubarb pie sound like perfect uses of it.

>> have you guys heard of Alt? I have been taking their free classes and I highly recommend. (It's on my bucket list to go to their full conference.)

>> I confess, I love me some NPR and I remember first hearing about the girls getting kidnapped in Nigeria but then the Nigerian government said they were returned... which somehow was a lie and they really are not home. So join me for praying for their return. I love this post about that.

>> I love to read. You know that. So although this book list is for moms, I think a lot of these would work for any book worm.

>> such a beautiful post about endings leading to new beginnings

Also, if you are local, the Moorea Seal store is opening in Belltown! I am so over-the-moon thrilled for her and her team! The launch party is from 6 to 9 p.m. and the first attendees get a little gift. :)

happy weekend friends!

xo, erika

gifts for mom

I am not a mom but the thing is, I have a really great Mom. And I think if you met her, you would think she was pretty great, too. 

She's also one of those moms that usually just asks for practical things for Mother's Day; I think a lot of moms do that but I think on Mother's Day, you shouldn't get her the new garden hose or the new pair of socks, get her something that spoils her, just a little bit. 

A few of my picks for moms:

1. bottle vase by dahlhouse on Brika. Honestly if you're looking for a beautiful gift, go to Brika. It's a curated site of handmade goods and you cannot go wrong with anything. (full disclosure: you can find my bags here, too!)

2. limonata studs at Ann Taylor. These are so summery and sweet-- like lemonade for every day!

3. punjammies by The International Princess Project. Gorgeous lounge pants made by survivors of human trafficking in India. Also, right now, if you tweet #hopeformoms with an encouraging message, a dollar will be donated to the Princess Project and the encouraging tweet will be read to a survivor. (read more about that here!)

4. pressed flower phone case by With Lavender + Lace on Moorea Seal. This is actually a pre-order for this case, but I think even if the gift came a bit late, it would be appreciated. 

5. frehiwot scarf by fashionABLE. Beautiful loomed scarves made by Ethiopian women, who receive fair wages and business coaching. 

6. collar necklace by Akola Project. A fun statement necklace that comes in a variety of colors. Made in Uganda (which hits close to my heart) by women who receive sustainable, living wages. 

thoughts on failure

Here's the thing. No one likes to fail.

And I really don't like to fail.

I'm sure it's a product of my type-A, first-child syndrome. It's also due to to the fact that I am prone to giving up too easy when I feel like I'm not great at something.

Quick story: In first grade, we began doing math. One day, we were learning about money and we had cardboard punch-out dimes, nickels and pennies. I hated these serrated little discs because I did not know how to make 85 cents with just dimes and nickels or how to make 50 cents and then give change in just dimes.

I decided then and there that I hated math.

My reason was simple: I was a failure at it. Time to give up. Unforunately, to this day, I still carry the weight of that decision I made over 20 years ago. I struggle with doing any sort of accounting for my little shop simply because I have told myself that I am a failure at math and therefore, I should just give up. Let those receipts pile up until tax season when I'm forced to do something.

It's not just math. Lately I feel like a failure. Work has been hard and to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing. I am tempted to check out and cash out as if I'm six again -- to put my head on the desk and declare myself done.

I tell others to forge through on challenges but when it comes to my own life, I'm pretty terrible at following my own advice. But aren't we all bad at following through with what we tell others?

If you were struggling right now, I would tell you: chin up. It's hard -- it feels like fire, it feels like an uphill battle wearing lead shoes and carrying a slippery load you cannot grip. But, I believe a fire is refining. The challenge is defining you and making you stronger. At the top of the hill, after the ashes cool, you will be you, but only better. If you need help carrying the load, ask for it. If you need a breather on the side of the hill, take it. But don't give up. Don't drop what you're carrying and turn around. The challenge will be worth it, I would tell you.

So now the only issue is taking those words I would speak to others, and believing them myself.

What are your thoughts on failure and struggles?

dear husband

Dear husband,

Thank you for making me laugh. Thanks for texting me weird things in the middle of the day, like when you texted me last week to ask me whether I would give up our future childrens' naming rights for a million dollars. Thanks for giving household items ridiculous names, like Lucas or George, even when I roll my eyes at you.

Thank you for being the one to jump up and offer to get my ice cream -- drive to the store, even.

Thank you for knowing when to be silent, when I've had a rough day and when to offer advice. Thank you for challenging me, often, when you know that what I am doing isn't healthy.

Thank you for holding my hand, thank you for praying for me, with me, when things are so good and when things are so bad.

Thank you bringing me cups of tea when I stay up late sewing -- for not questioning my blog, my small business or the stress it brings me.

Thank you for your patience with my grand ideas.

Thank you for cooking dinner and for never questioning why we need to eat kale or read the back of food labels to make sure it doesn't have high-fructose corn syrup.

Thank you for working so hard and for loving so well. Thank you for insulating the basement walls, for teaching yourself how to fix plumbing and for taking the dog for a walk when it's pouring rain and I'm running late for work, again.

And thank you so much, for not being upset when in a typical fashion, I invited you to your own surprise birthday party. Thank you for just taking it in stride and going right along with it. You are the best and there's no one else I would rather share a birthday with.

xo, erika

I (still) read blogs

Just a few posts I read + loved this week. Swing by and read through them-- leave a comment or two-- I know they'll appreciate it.

... clockwise from top left

>> a post from haley at the tiny twig which is a lot like the post I wrote yesterday

>> a right-on-the-mark post on inner beauty from latonya yvette

>> a post from annapolis & company about designing your home or rental to fit you

>> a post about why we need beautiful things in this world-- like a cake topper -- from oh hello love

other things I've stumbled across and loved:

>> cats + vulnerability by shauna niequist

>> strawberry lavender scone recipe by m loves m

>> should vs. must by wit and delight

read anything good lately? please share.

also, happy good friday. and happy weekend + easter. I am hosting easter dinner, which makes me feel like a grown-up. the husband kindly reminded me that, unforunately, although I don't often feel grown-up, my age and my house do, in fact, make me kind of a grown-up.

xo, erika