today marks four years-- four!-- that the husband and I've been married. As is tradition, he's taking over the blog for today.
Hi. It’s the husband again. I know, I know, it’s disappointing to not have the lovely Erika writing this post. Have no fear, this is just my annual anniversary post in which I share my deepest insights and sought after wisdom on the topic of marriage. She’ll be back next week to share actual insights and wisdom on anything and everything diy. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted to say in this space over the past two or three weeks. I knew I’d be asked to write another blog post for Erika and I wanted to make sure I at least had a direction for my post instead of just kind of rambling on and on. The one word that kept coming to mind when I thought about our marriage over the past year was support.
As some of you know, Erika will be heading to San Francisco today for the Renegade Craft Fair. She’s worked really hard for the past three years building up to this weekend. She’s sacrificed tons of free nights, weekends, and (most importantly to her) sleep to make her shop what it is today. By no means has she pinnacled with her shop, but she’s currently higher up the mountain than she’s ever been. And I could not be more proud of her.
One thing Erika’s always told me is that in marriage, each person needs to take turns supporting the other. She got this from her (amazing) mother and has said it to me as long as we’ve been together. And after watching her work for the past few months in the rapid build-up to Renegade, that became crystal clear to me. Throughout a marriage, each person will go through periods of struggle, hardship, triumph, and failure. One of the most challenging, but at the same time beautiful, things about that is being the person standing next to a spouse who’s going through something difficult.
The person who’s taught me how to do that best is Erika. She has been blessed by God with the ability to put up with me and stand by me when I’m facing something difficult, demanding, or even heart-breaking. When I slipped in the shower two years ago and tore cartilage in my knee (true story--swear to God) and all but ended my (running) racing career, Erika supported me and listened to my complaining about not being able to run, even though she probably didn’t have a clue as to what I was feeling. At that point she didn’t really run and I don’t think she could really comprehend why I was so upset and frustrated. Nonetheless, she listened and talked and listened some more for two years while I complained about my knee.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that marriage is about supporting your spouse through the good times and the bad. Each person will have their time to challenge themselves and try new things. It’s so important for the other person to stand by their partner and help them by listening and caring about whatever it is that they’re doing.
I’ve seen too many examples of couples with different interests not caring a bit about what their partner is doing, and it absolutely kills me. The whole point of marriage love each other as much as possible. And the best way to do that is sacrificing your own interests and putting your spouse first.
In parting, I will say to those of you that are married: support your spouse in whatever ventures they are pursuing. That doesn’t mean you have to like it or even be super interested in it. It just means that you need to be there and walk with them as they experience something new in life. Erika did such a good job of supporting me with my running injury that she ran a half-marathon last month. Who knows, maybe I’ll start making bags in time for Renegade next year. Ok, probably not.
You can read previous anniversary posts here and here.
and I will be in San Francisco this weekend selling my bags at the Renegade Craft Fair! If you're in the area, stop by and say hi, or follow along on Instragram. :)