go easy

I think I am, as many people are, good at being hard on myself.

I struggle so hard to hold control on to so many things and to be honest, I have small hands and there's not much I can hold on too without letting some things slip.

And I think that's OK.

Earlier this month, I wrote that I wanted to go easier on myself-- especially in regards to my house. Somedays, to be honest, most days, I feel inadequate when I look at my house.

I do love my little house but some days when I look at my home, all I see all that needs to be done-- all the things I haven't done and all the projects that I could be doing. I see the bathroom that needs repainting. The laundry that hasn't been folded. The weird unorganized papers piled on a counter. The neglected plants on my deck. And I feel bad, as if I have not been a good steward of what God has given me.

But I also know that I cannot do it all. And, if I was to be truly honest with myself, when I look at my house and the projects I need to do, I think I should do them because of what others may think. What would people think if they came over and saw the laundry, the messes, the unorganized papers?

I should ask myself why I really care what they think. I should also ask myself if I'm going too hard on myself -- that if it matters if some laundry piles up, if my bathroom is perfectly painted and if the closet door downstairs currently doesn't have a door knob.

I am trying to work on letting little things like this go -- not because I can't control them-- but because I shouldn't let them control me.

Just some thoughts for Thursday.

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