9/19/13

if I wasn't doing this

 
 (it's always a mess)

Some days, or rather some nights, when it's late and my neck is cramping from sewing, I wonder what I'm doing.

I really question it. Honestly.

I love, love my little handmade shop and I'm really trying to grow it, but sometimes it's hard and when I turn down something, or attempt to get through the next day on not enough sleep, I ask myself, is this worth it? Am I insane? This is the question that pops through my head late at night.

I think it is worth it. I am choosing believe it is. This is my dream-- to make this shop work. And right now it means I'm balancing a lot. I'm not trying to complain; I'm just trying to be honest.


But what I've also realized is that if I didn't have this shop, I would be filling my time with other things because I'm not the kind of person that's good at not having something to do.


We can talk about if that's a coping method, or perhaps it's me not learning to be content with what I have or whatever psychological truth you believe about me but the honestly, I think I'm just a creative, sometimes crazy, always-busy person and I think God designed me this way. And being that creative crazy person -- I have to have my hands dirty creating and my mind busy dreaming.


When it's hard and I'm tired, I try to remind myself that.

I also rest on the fact that a lot of things are hard: raising children is hard, getting through med school is hard, being married is hard... but just because something is hard doesn't mean it isn't good.


Right now I am reminding myself this, that the hard stuff can be such good stuff. I am learning to honor God with this little shop and with each thing I make, I thank Him for this opportunity to create with my hands. And I am praying that He can get me through the hard stuff and help me see the good.



xo, erika





14 comments

  1. Beautiful.


    Gemma
    fadedwindmills.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. I can so relate to this. I think these thoughts simply if I feel that I am spending too much time blogging. I mean, I am not saving lives. But God is honored in all hard work done to His glory. Love the Lord, and hang in there (that goes for both of us).

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  3. Hard stuff most definitely can be good stuff! And sometimes the best stuff is the hardest. I'm working to grow my blog and to grow in my career as a writer--and sometimes I definitely question myself--should I just get a normal job and resign myself to that? Everybody wants to be a writer, that doesn't mean everyone should! :P I get a little dramatic. But I do like being busy and I enjoy creating with words so very much.

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  4. you are doing a great job with your shop, girl! like they say, nothing worth having is easy (or something like that!) keep it up!

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  5. Needed to hear this one today. Thank you!!

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  6. It is worth it. You know why? It means you're getting there! You're getting to that dream!!

    I love you and I'm so excited for what's to come for you and R&W! I KNOW that dream is going to come true. xo JA

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  7. You are so right. It's totally worth it!! Contentment and rest are wonderful things and worth striving for but there has to be a balance. You wouldn't be content knowing you weren't pursuing your passion either! I'm so glad you're having so much success... even if it is exhausting :)

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  8. that is a beautiful prayer. I think the best things are the hardest things. But it's sometimes hard to see it in a positive way.

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  9. Thanks for this! I'm just starting out on my blogging adventure with plans to open an online shop also. It can be discouraging at times when you put lots of work and yourself into everything you create... But it's also so rewarding to do something you love. Keep it up! ��

    ❤Jess

    Jess the Mess

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  10. Sometimes the best things are where we learn/grow the most! I'm so glad you're taking it in stride and pursuing your dream :)

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  11. You're reminding me that I really need to get back to writing again. I stopped after last year and in my spare time I now do really stupid, lazy things. I miss writing and I miss feeling that passion!

    Stick with it lady, do what you love, even when it's hard.

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  12. Oh, what great perspective, which is no small task in the midst of hard. I know, as I share the crazy-creative genes and often am so tired from trying to do and make and accomplish much.

    I'm really going to try to remind myself of your wisdom through this next week. Thank you so much for the food for thought :)

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  13. I'm with you on this one - I get bored when I'm not busy. A part of me uses busy to stave off anxiety, but even if that wasn't the case, I'm not altogether happy if I'm not doing something creative or challenging. Right now I have three kids five and under, so I have no choice but to be constantly busy, but even before that... I just like doing things.

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