Writing on a post about friendship feels like some exercise, like some junior high essay prompt, but I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, so it only makes sense that it makes it out here.

To be honest, I've always felt like the person that struggled with making good friends. My dearest friends growing up were not the same age as me, and as such, I was lonely sometimes during school. I had some hurtful friendship experiences in high school that also left me a little jaded; girls can be so mean.

And when I got to college, I started out with my walls up. I lived in a house of 16 girls and my goal was to have fun. But it's hard to hide your true self when you're surrounded with 15 other girls, sharing just four bathrooms and one kitchen. And I discovered that being honest with myself -- with others -- and truly asking the right questions and letting them ask questions in return -- brought about true, deep friendships.

Friendship is not always easy -- it's a give and take. There are times when you will need to be loved, poured into and then there will be times when you will be the one pouring in, selflessly serving someone else. There will be times when you are the leader; there will be times when you follow. There will be times when you feel taken advantage of and you have to step back and there will be times when you need to have hard conversations. But I know it's all worth it: the honesty, the sacrifice and the peeling back layers to show our true selves.

I believe so strongly that friendship is living out God's call for us to truly love others. He designed us for good friendship, for deep community and it's something that I'm still striving after and may never fully understand. But I am thankful that I am at a place where friendships have become a priority. Right now I feel incredibly grateful to have good friendships. I have friends that say good, true things to me -- who ask hard questions, and who let me voice doubts freely.

xo, erika


  1. I'm struggling with friendship right now. It seems the women I form the closest bonds with are ones that I've met through the blog world, so we can't hang out every day. It's sad and lonely sometimes.

  2. wow! you must have really cool friends :)


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