an outfit with "soccer pants"

I've been eying these pants for awhile. Some places call them soft pants, or silky pants or warmup pants My husband calls them soccer pants because they remind him of the zippered pants he wore before practice.

I call them comfy pants. I actually bought them right before going to Uganda -- I wanted something other than leggings to wear on the plane and decided that a pair of these were perfect. I bought them at Nordstrom Rack but I've seen them everywhere. Yes, they're loose and casual, but you can dress them up with flats or heels (or do what I did on the plane to home from Uganda -- pair them unwashed dirty feet in flipflops and three-day, greasy hair). It's up to you, really.

wear:
jacket: Nordstrom (similar)
tee: Everlane
pants: Nordstrom Rack (similar -- on sale!)
flats: Target

thoughts on failure

Here's the thing. No one likes to fail.

And I really don't like to fail.

I'm sure it's a product of my type-A, first-child syndrome. It's also due to to the fact that I am prone to giving up too easy when I feel like I'm not great at something.

Quick story: In first grade, we began doing math. One day, we were learning about money and we had cardboard punch-out dimes, nickels and pennies. I hated these serrated little discs because I did not know how to make 85 cents with just dimes and nickels or how to make 50 cents and then give change in just dimes.

I decided then and there that I hated math.

My reason was simple: I was a failure at it. Time to give up. Unforunately, to this day, I still carry the weight of that decision I made over 20 years ago. I struggle with doing any sort of accounting for my little shop simply because I have told myself that I am a failure at math and therefore, I should just give up. Let those receipts pile up until tax season when I'm forced to do something.

It's not just math. Lately I feel like a failure. Work has been hard and to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing. I am tempted to check out and cash out as if I'm six again -- to put my head on the desk and declare myself done.

I tell others to forge through on challenges but when it comes to my own life, I'm pretty terrible at following my own advice. But aren't we all bad at following through with what we tell others?

If you were struggling right now, I would tell you: chin up. It's hard -- it feels like fire, it feels like an uphill battle wearing lead shoes and carrying a slippery load you cannot grip. But, I believe a fire is refining. The challenge is defining you and making you stronger. At the top of the hill, after the ashes cool, you will be you, but only better. If you need help carrying the load, ask for it. If you need a breather on the side of the hill, take it. But don't give up. Don't drop what you're carrying and turn around. The challenge will be worth it, I would tell you.

So now the only issue is taking those words I would speak to others, and believing them myself.

What are your thoughts on failure and struggles?

what i wore in wind + rain

Oh spring weather. Just when I think you're balmy and sweet, you come roaring in with wind and rain, and I'm forced to drag out the sweater I just packed away. When will you make up your mind, dear sweet fickle spring? It's about time for consistency.

dress: made by me
sweater: thrifted
boots: dsw
necklace: c/o l'avenir design

dear husband

Dear husband,

Thank you for making me laugh. Thanks for texting me weird things in the middle of the day, like when you texted me last week to ask me whether I would give up our future childrens' naming rights for a million dollars. Thanks for giving household items ridiculous names, like Lucas or George, even when I roll my eyes at you.

Thank you for being the one to jump up and offer to get my ice cream -- drive to the store, even.

Thank you for knowing when to be silent, when I've had a rough day and when to offer advice. Thank you for challenging me, often, when you know that what I am doing isn't healthy.

Thank you for holding my hand, thank you for praying for me, with me, when things are so good and when things are so bad.

Thank you bringing me cups of tea when I stay up late sewing -- for not questioning my blog, my small business or the stress it brings me.

Thank you for your patience with my grand ideas.

Thank you for cooking dinner and for never questioning why we need to eat kale or read the back of food labels to make sure it doesn't have high-fructose corn syrup.

Thank you for working so hard and for loving so well. Thank you for insulating the basement walls, for teaching yourself how to fix plumbing and for taking the dog for a walk when it's pouring rain and I'm running late for work, again.

And thank you so much, for not being upset when in a typical fashion, I invited you to your own surprise birthday party. Thank you for just taking it in stride and going right along with it. You are the best and there's no one else I would rather share a birthday with.

xo, erika

I (still) read blogs

Just a few posts I read + loved this week. Swing by and read through them-- leave a comment or two-- I know they'll appreciate it.

... clockwise from top left

>> a post from haley at the tiny twig which is a lot like the post I wrote yesterday

>> a right-on-the-mark post on inner beauty from latonya yvette

>> a post from annapolis & company about designing your home or rental to fit you

>> a post about why we need beautiful things in this world-- like a cake topper -- from oh hello love

other things I've stumbled across and loved:

>> cats + vulnerability by shauna niequist

>> strawberry lavender scone recipe by m loves m

>> should vs. must by wit and delight

read anything good lately? please share.

also, happy good friday. and happy weekend + easter. I am hosting easter dinner, which makes me feel like a grown-up. the husband kindly reminded me that, unforunately, although I don't often feel grown-up, my age and my house do, in fact, make me kind of a grown-up.

xo, erika