today marks four years-- four!-- that the husband and I've been married. As is tradition, he's taking over the blog for today.
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Hi.
It’s the husband again. I know, I know, it’s disappointing to not
have the lovely Erika writing this post. Have no fear, this is just my
annual anniversary post in which I share my deepest insights and sought
after wisdom on the topic of marriage. She’ll be back next week to share
actual insights and wisdom on anything and everything diy. I’ve been
thinking a lot about what I wanted to say in this space over the past
two or three weeks. I knew I’d be asked to write another blog post for
Erika and I wanted to make sure I at least had a direction for my post
instead of just kind of rambling on and on. The one word that kept
coming to mind when I thought about our marriage over the past year was
support.
As
some of you know, Erika will be heading to San Francisco today for the
Renegade Craft Fair. She’s worked really hard for the past three years
building up to this weekend. She’s sacrificed tons of free nights,
weekends, and (most importantly to her) sleep to make her shop what it
is today. By no means has she pinnacled with her shop, but she’s
currently higher up the mountain than she’s ever been. And I could not
be more proud of her.
One
thing Erika’s always told me is that in marriage, each person needs to
take turns supporting the other. She got this from her (amazing) mother
and has said it to me as long as we’ve been together. And after
watching her work for the past few months in the rapid build-up to
Renegade, that became crystal clear to me. Throughout a marriage, each
person will go through periods of struggle, hardship, triumph, and
failure. One of the most challenging, but at the same time beautiful,
things about that is being the person standing next to a spouse who’s
going through something difficult.
The
person who’s taught me how to do that best is Erika. She has been
blessed by God with the ability to put up with me and stand by me when
I’m facing something difficult, demanding, or even heart-breaking. When
I slipped in the shower two years ago and tore cartilage in my knee
(true story--swear to God) and all but ended my (running) racing career, Erika
supported me and listened to my complaining about not being able to run,
even though she probably didn’t have a clue as to what I was feeling.
At that point she didn’t really run and I don’t think she could really
comprehend why I was so upset and frustrated. Nonetheless, she listened
and talked and listened some more for two years while I complained
about my knee.
I
guess what I’m trying to say is that marriage is about supporting your
spouse through the good times and the bad. Each person will have their
time to challenge themselves and try new things. It’s so important for
the other person to stand by their partner and help them by listening
and caring about whatever it is that they’re doing.
I’ve seen too many
examples of couples with different interests not caring a bit about what
their partner is doing, and it absolutely kills me. The whole point of
marriage love each other as much as possible. And the best way to do
that is sacrificing your own interests and putting your spouse first.
In parting, I will say to those of you that are married: support your spouse in whatever ventures they are pursuing. That doesn’t mean you have to like it or even be super interested in it. It just means that you need to be there and walk with them as they experience something new in life. Erika did such a good job of supporting me with my running injury that she ran a half-marathon last month. Who knows, maybe I’ll start making bags in time for Renegade next year. Ok, probably not.
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You can read previous anniversary posts here and here.
and I will be in San Francisco this weekend selling my bags at the Renegade Craft Fair! If you're in the area, stop by and say hi, or follow along on Instragram. :)
xo, erika
Thanks heaps for this post :)
ReplyDeletethis is so sweet. happy annivesary to you two!
ReplyDeleteWonderful advice! I remember interviewing marriage counselors once and them telling me the most important thing a couple can do in the marriage is put the other person first, not yourself. That way, if each is worried about the other's happiness, someone's always got your back. Happy anniversary!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've been learning this lesson as I try to support my husband in his career and hobby adventures that may not necessarily interest me.
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary!
Ellie
www.ChoosingPeaceBlog.com
happy anniversary! we just celebrated 4 years in may. crazy how time goes by. what good advice- and so true!
ReplyDeleteDearest Evan,
ReplyDeleteAllow me to serve as your grammatical support; "Sought-after" should be hyphenated. In that regard, you failed.
Love,
Stevie
P.S. Its obvious that you faked an injury to avoid racing me. Its shameful that you pulled Erika into your web of lies--a pure heart, muddled with deceit.
happy anniversary! :)
ReplyDeletegreat thoughts.
ReplyDeleteand she supports your 'need' to wear those funny caps. :)
Erika, have fun at Renegade (love the name)
Husband, i await stadia photos.
Yay, happy anniversary!
ReplyDeletethis is absolutely beautiful. happy anniversary! you guys are so lucky to have each other :)
ReplyDeleteSo cute! What a great relationship!
ReplyDeleteTia from www.etsy.com/shop/TheCraftyEngineerx
Happy Anniversary! This is a very inspirational sharing! Praise God and thank you both :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely idea and great blog post!
ReplyDeletex
http://braceletsandfigs.blogspot.com/