8/27/13

i am not superwoman



I am not superwoman.

I am here to confess that I do not in fact have it all together. Ever. 

Never was that more clear than this weekend. 

As you may know, we are painting our house ourselves —with the help of family members (a lot of help from family members).

I have also been pushing myself really hard to grow my shop (and some of it is paying off.)

The house painting and shop crashed together spectacular on Saturday when I started attempting to prepare my backyard for a bridal shower I was hosting Sunday afternoon. My parents and brothers had spent the morning helping me paint and I was sweaty, wearing a hot pink t-shirt from high school, trying to weed and water my neglected yard before I headed inside to sew. 

I was covered in sweat, dirty and tired when I headed inside to find two of my best friends in my house—they came over to borrow a dress. 

One of them looked at me, and said “You look tired.” And, I being in the place that I was, burst into tears. Hot, choking sobs. 

My friend pulled me in for a hug and was like, “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean it that way!” 

But that wasn’t it. I am tired. And trying to keep it together was exhausting. How was I supposed to host a Pinterest-worthy shower the next day that would show my friend how much I loved her when I can barely stay on top of laundry? 

It was as if my friends sensed this, and one of them, cupped my face and said, “You do so much. You do not need to do so much.” And the other asked me, gently, if we could move the shower to her yard. 

My first reaction was to say no, I could host it at my house. To do otherwise would feel like a failure. I was about to say so, when they both insisted that it could be moved. 

And with that, a giant weight lifted from my shoulders. It was okay to admit I was floundering and to take the grace that my friends were freely offering me. 

I still helped host the shower—cooking and prepping—but I didn’t have to keep weeding or scrub my toilet or move the stack of totes I’ve been working on for a wholesale order from my living room. 

I tell this story to say with utter conviction that we don’t need to be superwomen. I don’t know where this idea came from—that we need to cook perfect meals, and look perfectly put together and host a bridal shower when our backyards are covered with paint chips and our house hasn’t been cleaned in weeks. 

I am not superwoman. I am messy; I have too many things on my plate as I try to chase my dreams. I need more sleep and less caffeine and I need to learn more on the grace given from my friends and from God.
This next season is going to be busy—I know that. I know that there are going to be some things I need to take completely out of my hands so that I can focus and just survive, honestly. 

And I know that I am not alone in this—I know there are other women, other people, maybe you—who feel like they’re trying to be superwoman and can’t be. Please rest in the grace that God gives you—He is enough so you don’t need to be. You don’t have to be superwoman. And if you happen to have friends, who will stay up late and help package orders, or tell you with love that you look tired-- cling to them.

xo, erika

14 comments

  1. YES. yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

    That.

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  2. You are definitely not alone! I think all women can relate to this. I have also been learning the value of asking for help (so hard for me to do), and not saying yes to everything. I am sure it is some form of pride that I think I can just do it all, instead of accepting that God has given me people in my life who love me and are there for me. This kind of reminds me of a quote I recently came across: "All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and change is painful."-Flannery O'connor

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  3. Amen to this girl! Trying to take everything on is exhausting and unnecessary, yet we all keep trying to do it. It's hard sometimes to accept grace from others because we don't want to feel like we're not enough. But we are! I hope you are able to rest and regroup as you approach a busy season :)

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  4. Love the truth in this! Thanks for the reminder, Erika :)

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  5. What amazing friends you have. It's one thing to know you should help those around you, it's another thing to recognize when a friend needs help and actually act on it. How very blessed you are for these friends, and how STRONG you are to actually accept the help. Thanks for sharing!

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  6. I think learning to say "no" is a really important lesson. I am sometimes shocked at many people feel they have to do anything that is asked of them. I value my me-time very much, and I feel like it's something that's necessary -- perhaps especially for folks who are stretched so thin.

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  7. I think you're doing an amazing job! And also--how great is it to have such special friends? If there are any superwomen, I'm betting they have an incredible support system behind them.

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  8. I'm with you, 100%. I'm personally trying to build my blog, work 40 hours a week, create enough to stock an etsy shop, and house hunt. It's all a bit much. I took some time off from work this week to give myself some time to just breathe. I'm trying to remember that I'm not superwoman too. Just know, you're doing a fantastic job and you can breathe. Take a day and just nap! :)

    xo Kristina Rose
    www.thewhimsicaldays.blogspot.com

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  9. love this - so much truth here. you are doing an amazing job and whatever you can do is good enough! I think a lot of women put pressure on themselves to "do it all." It is a lot of work. I do it too....this post was a nice reminder that it's ok to step back here and there and not do it all.

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  10. I just love reading posts like this. I am so overwhelmed at the moment and my pastor just got done preaching something a couple weeks ago... Saying that we try to do so much, and we feel like we have to be in control and on top of everything, and when we do that God lets us and He says "okay- I'm going to let you do it." But when we step back and ask for His help and give Him control, things will get better.

    What I've been working on the past couple weeks. Its hard.

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  11. Saving this post so I can refer to it the next time I am utterly freaking out about things.

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  12. huge huge resounding DITTO to all that, lady.

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  13. yes yes. excellent post my dear. It is so easy to get caught up in trying to do everything and make sure that everything is perfect. Slowing down and realizing that hey - you're not superman! is so important.

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  14. You know, this post reminded me of Pinterest. It really depicts the "perfect" decor, recipes, projects, shower throwing details, etc. I blame Pinterest!

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oh that's so nice of you to say hi :)
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